


in the dust

by noyabeans (snowdrops)



Series: writing with snowdrops (sportsfest 2018) [6]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M, POV Second Person, Post-Canon, Separations
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-20
Updated: 2018-08-20
Packaged: 2019-06-30 06:25:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 852
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15746106
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snowdrops/pseuds/noyabeans
Summary: this is what farewell feels like: the words you don't say, the things he never knows.





	in the dust

**Author's Note:**

> fill for **sportsfest bonus round 4: caps**.  
>  original prompt is [here](https://sportsfest.dreamwidth.org/11674.html?thread=2044826#cmt2044826).

Dawn is barely breaking when you bid him farewell at the station. He’s radiant, even as he lifts the luggage from the platform into the train, a broad grin on his face.

You look at the clock on the platform; five minutes to departure.

Bokuto’s sniffling, and you instinctively reach for the tissue packet tucked away in your satchel, the one you’d prepared for this exact scenario. As you pull it out and hand it to him, you feel the sharp edge of paper against your fingertips.

You know what it is: an envelope, tightly sealed, unaddressed.

You’d wanted to give it to him earlier, away from prying eyes, but the chance had just never presented itself (and you wonder now why you thought it would have - today he is the star of this show, his attention divided between all his friends and family, no time for you).

 

 _You’re popular, aren’t you, Akaashi,_ he’d said that one day. He’d been leaning against the station wall, silhouette stark against the orange spilling across the horizon from the setting sun.

There was an envelope in your hand that day too, from a girl two classes down. She’d waited for you after practice, and you’d told the rest of the team to go ahead without you. You remember how the envelope looked like: light blue, your name printed on it in careful characters.

 _Not really,_ you’d shrugged. _I wasn’t expecting you to wait for me._

 _It’s lonely taking the train back without company,_ he’d said. His tone had been flippant, like he’d been talking about the weather. _Figured it wouldn’t hurt to wait._

 _Sure, if you say so_.

You’d placed the envelope into your bag, in between your textbooks. You’d talked about practice that day, and his upcoming papers, and the volleyball scholarship he was trying out for.

That was when he’d mentioned it -

_Kyoto. I’m thinking of going to Kyoto._

_Oh._

_Will you miss me, Akaashi?_

You’d blinked.

_I suppose so._

 

Luggage safely in place, he steps back off the train to give his family all hugs. Then he drags Washio, Komi, Bokuto and Sarukui into a huddle, slaps each of them on the backs. "I’ll be back for summer break, and I’m gonna beat you then, Bokuto!”

“As if!” Bokuto yells, though it is a challenge better issued if his eyes weren’t watery and red. “You’ll never beat me!”

Konoha smiles, warm and fond. You try not to think about the fact that it will be the last time in a long while before you next see it.

It continues like that for a while, him going around to his different groups of friends, while you stand to the side and wait.

You don’t know what it is you are waiting for. What you will say to him. You run your fingers over the envelope. Maybe you should give it to him anyway, a farewell letter for his going-away. Nobody will ever have to know its contents besides Konoha himself.

Then he’s in front of you.

“Thanks for coming, Akaashi,” he says. There’s a funny note to his voice, but you don’t have time to dwell on it before he’s also pulling you into a hug, forceful and firm. You let yourself relax into it, feeling the way his arms wrap around you. They’re strong, reliable - just as you’ve always imagined them to be.

“Stay safe there,” you say when he lets go. “We won’t be there to watch your back anymore.”

 _I won’t be there,_ is what you want to say. _I’ll_ -

He blinks, almost as though astonished, confused even. Then he smiles, features smoothing over. “Of course I will. Don’t worry.”

Then he’s turning, too quickly, and he’s back on the train, waving to everyone. It’s almost time for it to pull out.

 _The letter_ , you think. It’s right there. You can hand it to him now.

“Konoha-san,” you call.

He looks back at you, and you falter on your words. There’s something gleaming in his eyes, an expression you’ve never seen before. It looks a little like melancholy, you think.

“Have fun,” you settle for instead, letting your fingers slip from the envelope. There’s nothing it can do, not now. He is already too far away from you, and that distance can only grow.

He smiles. “You bet! Come visit when you can, Akaashi!”

The whistle blows, and the door slides shut. You watch him run to his seat, pull open the window and wave.

Then, with a great creaking and groaning, the train begins to move.

“Text us when you get there!” Bokuto shouts, voice warbly, and Konoha yells back in the affirmative that yes, I will, I’ll even video call you Bokuto.

And as you stand there, letter still in your satchel, you think you begin to understand what it means to be left behind.

He is still waving, and behind you Bokuto is waving equally frantically.

But the distance between you seems even more unbreachable now. The single metre between you just minutes ago has already begun stretching into kilometres, a year’s difference yawning into four hours.

**Author's Note:**

> ※ I struggle with replying to comments, but I deeply appreciate each one that I receive. it's very motivating and rewarding to hear that you've enjoyed it, or that it made you have some kind of emotional reaction. consider this as an advance thank you if you're leaving a comment, and feel free to drop by my social media and talk to me if you enjoyed reading this!
> 
> [tumblr (rielity)](https://rielity.tumblr.com/) | [twitter (noyabeans)](https://twitter.com/noyabeans) | [haikyuu writing journal](https://noyabeans.dreamwidth.org/)


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